My big sister started school TWO  whole years ahead of me even though we were only fifteen months apart. On her first day of school some of the kids were crying because they didn’t want to leave their parents and go in to the big school.  Not my sister Deely. She stood up super tall and no tears ready to walk inside. 

 As soon as she left , my belly turned in knots and so many tears came I couldn’t  talk even if I tried.  Then more and more came and I couldn’t breathe . I just gasped for air and I didn’t know why all the other parents thought it was funny that I was the one crying instead of my sister. 

  Mama tried to console me by saying I got to help with my little brother all day and then pick up Deely when school got out , pushing my brother in the  stroller.  When this didn’t make me smile , Mama said: oh how fun -we could stop at a donut shop! 

There were two near the school:  Dunkin’ Donuts with the chairs that would spin in a circle and Mr. Donuts. Dunkin Donuts was two blocks from the school and Mr. Donuts was right across the street. 

 Mr Donuts was dark and in a basement -so we had to walk down stairs which meant  unfolding and then carrying  my brothers stroller.  It smelled like cigars which made my eyes sting and my throat tickle. 

Their donuts were boring- only two flavors and NONE with sprinkles or powdered sugar or sweet treats on the inside like jelly and custard. 

Dunkin Donnuts had so many flavors I couldn’t even count and lots of sprinkles and yummy inside donut treats. 

Sometimes on the walk  my legs wouldn’t move as fast as Mamas- so  I would hold onto my brothers stroller while Mama pushed and she would say:  You have to let go. You are pulling us backwards.

Mamma saying NO made a fire in my belly that would grow and grow until my feet would stomp-stomp-stomp. 

Not fair  that my brother got to sit. Deely was in school and my brother got pushed in the stroller. 

Sometimes when Mama was getting us ready to leave and putting on my brothers coat- I would run and sit in the stroller saying:  push me push me ! I want a turn. 

Some days I would complain the whole walk and other days I would run ahead just to hear Mama say: Don’t run in the streetI

One day Mama asked me to carry a bag of cups from the store that wouldn’t  fit in the stroller and I was so mad but I said ok.

Then when we were in the middle of the street I threw my body on the ground kicking my heels just to hear Mama scream: we are in the middle of the street-what are you doing? 

One day at Dunkin Donuts my donut was taking too long-so I started spinning my chair so I could hear Mama tell me to stop-stop- STOOOOOP.  And the more she said STOP the faster I went  feeling butterflies tickle my tummy until  the next thing I knew I was on the floor and the next thing I knew I woke up at home with the biggest headache and a fever and Papa got soo mad I didn’t listen and I coulda had a concussion and blah blah blah. 

Mr. Donut shop was across the street from my sisters school- without the spiny chairs so we ended dup going there instead of the Dunkin Donuts a lot of the time-even though I promised I wound not spin again. If we walked real fast  and got there early we could buy a donut Mama said.  

One day I didn’t feel like walking so I begged if we could take the bus-and Mama said no. We only have enough money for a donut or a bus ride. Not both. 

Oh how I wanted that donut. I was so soo mad I could not have both. If super had to choose …I wanted the donut more than I wanted my legs to rest. 

Tired legs and yummy treats were way better than rested legs and zero treats.